yes, if you ask me that's what i'm feeling now. Recently i just found out that i was selected for the Petronas scholarship (overseas programme)! Yay??

First thing, that shot my head, gosh, Geophysics?? are you serious??
Second thing, hmm am i ready to give up my dreams for this??
Third thing, dang.. i'm leaving kuching REAL soon..
Fourth, cool.. overseas.. .




Yeah, that's kinda how i felt at the moment. mixed-up feelings altogether. Then there's people congratulating me.. i was blank... i was lost..
For so long, i've dreamt big things, real jobs, bigger than what i've expected of my own capability. And now, slowly, it's coming true but not in the manner than i wanted it...

I wasn't an ambitious person. If i wanted something, practically, i'll dream about it then i'll do whatever i can in my own capability to achieve it. Sadly, reality speaks, what i got wasnt what i really wanted. But what i want is not what i can afford. Restless, i struggle for an easier way out, that's why we apply scholarships.. I dont know about you guys, but for me, scholarships are shortcuts from all the struggle and hassle to get money. Seriously, who wouldn't want money, somemore, free? For the whole course, you're sitting on.. to your career... all free..

Truly, nothing is free in this world. For the luck of it, i got the scholarship. i got free money! But to what extend, i have to go for something i didn't think of.. (like in my case, geophysics). For that, am i willing to go for it? Or will i take that back and follow my dreams?


"Follow your dreams, you always wanted to become a pilot..!" a friend of mine said ..



Yes, true, my friend. i want to. But i cant afford it! i cant be naive!! This is a one-chance opportunity, there aint 2 times for petronas scholarships. Really, you want me to give up this scholarship and go with my dreams, go form 6 then apply for airlines sponsporships .. to become cadet pilots or even better pilots.. there's 30% chance for that.. but what if i dont get recruited. So am i applying for loan and burden my parents. Waste my parent's savings and epf? Then pressure them once more to pay my debt? Taking jobs? haha .. how much can you earn enough to sponsor yourself? 1 year? 2 years? 5 years?

So, it is to say, the big question lies in ..
"Are you driven far enough, that for the sake of a better life, you give up your dreams.."

Giving up doesnt mean letting go, give it up for a moment, but keep dreaming.. let it burn.. perhaps not now.. but later on,you can achieve it either way. That's what i've been thinking about lately. We shouldn't be thinking only about dreams and ambitions. There're other of factors. Money is a big issue! With or without money, there're still problems. But live the moment, live this moment. Take a deep breathe and make that step, yes THAT step. Maybe, one day you'll turn out more happy that you've ever dream about... one day...

That's where, yi chang chun meng comes into play.. High school times, primary school.. the friends, the parties, the happy moments... memories.. are all just like an episode of spring. The flower blooms, the air was fresh, no problems... no struggles... no big things..

Still, there's always that voice in yourselves.. telling you, "time to grow up, time to leave all of that..." And when you wake up one day, you'll find that you dont do the things you used to do, you dont like the things you used to like, you dont eat the stuff that you used to eat.. and everything fades.. Abide horizons.. you have to make that leap, ' to explore new things, experience and learn new stuff..' *quoted by a buddy of mine.. * Yes, that leap, if now for me.. am i jumping over? or staying behind and make that jump from another cliff? The answer lies within me.. But i guess i have it already.. wont you agree? and i know all of you have your own answers too! Before i take leave.. think twice because this might be your one and only chance.

yes, if you ask me that's what i'm feeling now. Recently i just found out that i was selected for the Petronas scholarship (overseas programme)! Yay??

First thing, that shot my head, gosh, Geophysics?? are you serious??
Second thing, hmm am i ready to give up my dreams for this??
Third thing, dang.. i'm leaving kuching REAL soon..
Fourth, cool.. overseas.. .




Yeah, that's kinda how i felt at the moment. mixed-up feelings altogether. Then there's people congratulating me.. i was blank... i was lost..
For so long, i've dreamt big things, real jobs, bigger than what i've expected of my own capability. And now, slowly, it's coming true but not in the manner than i wanted it...

I wasn't an ambitious person. If i wanted something, practically, i'll dream about it then i'll do whatever i can in my own capability to achieve it. Sadly, reality speaks, what i got wasnt what i really wanted. But what i want is not what i can afford. Restless, i struggle for an easier way out, that's why we apply scholarships.. I dont know about you guys, but for me, scholarships are shortcuts from all the struggle and hassle to get money. Seriously, who wouldn't want money, somemore, free? For the whole course, you're sitting on.. to your career... all free..

Truly, nothing is free in this world. For the luck of it, i got the scholarship. i got free money! But to what extend, i have to go for something i didn't think of.. (like in my case, geophysics). For that, am i willing to go for it? Or will i take that back and follow my dreams?


"Follow your dreams, you always wanted to become a pilot..!" a friend of mine said ..



Yes, true, my friend. i want to. But i cant afford it! i cant be naive!! This is a one-chance opportunity, there aint 2 times for petronas scholarships. Really, you want me to give up this scholarship and go with my dreams, go form 6 then apply for airlines sponsporships .. to become cadet pilots or even better pilots.. there's 30% chance for that.. but what if i dont get recruited. So am i applying for loan and burden my parents. Waste my parent's savings and epf? Then pressure them once more to pay my debt? Taking jobs? haha .. how much can you earn enough to sponsor yourself? 1 year? 2 years? 5 years?

So, it is to say, the big question lies in ..
"Are you driven far enough, that for the sake of a better life, you give up your dreams.."

Giving up doesnt mean letting go, give it up for a moment, but keep dreaming.. let it burn.. perhaps not now.. but later on,you can achieve it either way. That's what i've been thinking about lately. We shouldn't be thinking only about dreams and ambitions. There're other of factors. Money is a big issue! With or without money, there're still problems. But live the moment, live this moment. Take a deep breathe and make that step, yes THAT step. Maybe, one day you'll turn out more happy that you've ever dream about... one day...

That's where, yi chang chun meng comes into play.. High school times, primary school.. the friends, the parties, the happy moments... memories.. are all just like an episode of spring. The flower blooms, the air was fresh, no problems... no struggles... no big things..

Still, there's always that voice in yourselves.. telling you, "time to grow up, time to leave all of that..." And when you wake up one day, you'll find that you dont do the things you used to do, you dont like the things you used to like, you dont eat the stuff that you used to eat.. and everything fades.. Abide horizons.. you have to make that leap, ' to explore new things, experience and learn new stuff..' *quoted by a buddy of mine.. * Yes, that leap, if now for me.. am i jumping over? or staying behind and make that jump from another cliff? The answer lies within me.. But i guess i have it already.. wont you agree? and i know all of you have your own answers too! Before i take leave.. think twice because this might be your one and only chance.