Saturday, May 28, 2005
Posted by: JOJO
Time: 20:05
Comments: 0
.. my feelings...
i always wanted.. a perfect me... a perfect us and a perfect picture... but i know that's untrue.. here i am.... not starving for your sympathy. I just wanna be me! This is my apology.. though sometimes... i feel like cutting myself... everytime i pushed you out... everytime i chased you around then hit you in the back... i wished for things you couldn't give.. but then i always come back crawling on my knees.... who the hell i think i was?? now, what's left is full of doubts.. I know it's hard to leave the life i longed.. and even harder to let go... It's easy to forget... but you'll be chocking on your regrets... i tried to make the leap... now i'm the last one.. kneeling down on my empty side.. disguised as another puppet of sorrow... it's just strange.. i'll take these things so i won't feel... feel my pain.. and all your love have spread all through... i wished i could say 'i love you'. Now.. all these thoughts you stole from me, now.. i'm not sure where i belong.. and all the talking.. all the lies... there're the empty things disguised as me... and i wouldn't be the one kneeling now... if you'd let me in.. But i now it's my own fault... for i am a question to the world... all the moments that held me down.. what do you think you'll say?? I'll listen anyway.. and i'll be whoever i wanna be.. what do you think you understand? .. You can take me>? and throw me away? i'm fine with that..Now i'm here all alone.. but i'm not here... i want my real moment... wanna touch things i can't feel.. wanna go somewhere i belong.. how come the world wants me to change.. but they're still the same... you dont know me cos i'm not here.. i'm not afraid anymore.. i wanna tell you who i am.. and you won't break me cos i know who i am.. you can tell me who to be.. cos i'm not what they see... if the world keeps on turning but i keep on dreaming.. i'll end up as something that i never believed in...whispers and lies i never believed. i'm the only one left.. cos i'm still here.. sun still shines.. i'm still here aren't i?? am i here? or am i still lost?? I worry i won't see your face tomorrow.. or ever.. my own seems to rise...

but somehow i find... that i'm scared that i'll never be .. me again... even though.. i'd fall in time.. somehow... i will wake... till then.. i'll wish i'd die... i'd fall behind time.. i'll stay in this dream forever....

Joanna Kho / Jojo.
My WishList
- save money to go to JAPAN!
- Bunjee-jump.
- Fly a plane.
- have a Gay friend!
- Get Punk'd.
- Own a taxi company with Claire
- Travel to Ethiopia
- own 'Star-Spanged-Banner', a restaurant
- Join the Amazing Race
- date a pilot >..<
- Go to TOKYO!!
- learn surfing
- Have a nice Bday bash with stel
- Be a nice tour guide to my friends
- Meet Wentworth Miller.

"Must Do"s
- get an external
- tidy up room
- repaint room downstairs
- be good in driving
- get sims 3
- finish PhotoAlbum

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