Warning!!

This is going to be a looong and boring post. Sigh. I am now currently, at my uncle's house, in Kepong, updating you peeps, live from the hands of Jojo.

All the way from Kuching, Sarawak, i dragged 20 kgs of stuff across the South China Sea, and landed at in KL. Then it's off to KLCC to settle things with my sponsor, before driving all the way to Sunway Pyramid to meet up with my close peers. Then dinner, at New Paris Restaurant, and now...

Well, personally im having mix feelings right now. I'm not sad, or angry or happy or emo or anything. I'm just fine.... too fine..... in fact, I dont really think that's a good/healthy thing. Hmm.. I should be missing a lot right now. Food, Family, Place, Town, Friends, Car, Stuff, My creative thingies... lolz..

I do, deep deep deep down inside my heart, i really do. It's just that i dont show it. Well, not to a lot of people. I really am going to miss the past. All the times in KYUEM... chalet gossips, visits to the blackhole, knocking on chaer's window to wake her up for dinner, waiting for the guys to come to the DH, RC revision nights, cafe night outs, jogging, Mr D's maths classes, Mr Hanson's chem classes, Physics, IELTS - No... ENGLISH classes... all the witty teachers, how Pn Rog likes to brag about her students, how wonderful Mr B can be, how nice the technicians really ar, how grumpy the cafe staff are, how tasty* DH food was, swimming classes with Mrs B, the horrid monkeys at the guys chalet... my fishies...

Then there's my gang, or clique you can say. Our photoes together, the time spent, the secrets shared, feelings, emotions, the love... sigh. And of course my family, whose ever so proud of me, no matter what i do, or what i decide. Who's soo near and yet soo far, who will always miss me back at home, and welcome me anytime. Who's willing to go the extra mile, to earn the extra cash, for my luxury, who loves me just the same, no matter how big or how small i may get...

Of course i will miss them, all of you people!!!

Im saying this now, because frankly im just bored and i cant sleep, after the shot of caramel macchiato... Am i ready for this new life? Or this extra chapter in my life.... Yes!!!

:) Bye bye Home(for the time being..) and, Hello USA!!!!

My next post will probably in some airport, or in the states!! Keep in touch everyone! This wont be the end of Ah Jooooo!!!

I'm leaving on Sunday, wheeee.... ??

Everyone's talking about treating me breakfast/lunch/dinner. Everyone's psyched up cause someone they know is going to the states! Me?? Im soo thrilled myself! Before this, i can only dream of going to the states.. and when i load up my results page on Monday the other day, i didnt expect my future to come soo soon....

Anyway, im not gonna bore with all the thrill and excitement of me going to the states (*oh boy, i could type like a whole page of those.. hehee), instead i think there're some things that i would like my friends to know... esp those who love me.. who keep me near at heart!

First stop, a simple poem..

OMG!!

Need to pack need to pack.. i cant think straight now.. Gosh! It's all wayy to fast~

:)

I woke up this morning, switched on the computer... hook up the cie results website... to reveal... My Results... The golden moment that i've been waiting for... 

Seconds later.. i couldnt believe it.. OMG.. 

i met the requirements... i'm ... i'm.. going to fly ~ !...

Wheeeee.......................

So thank you, thank you, THANK YOU... 

Like a dream come true, i still cant believe it... Is this it? Is this for real?? Im going to the States??? OMG F'kin God!!!!! Somebody slap me!!

When i was at Popular Bookstore, i saw a book sitting at the non-fiction shelf, lonely... Without hesitant, i went over, and picked up the poor old book...

13 most popular superstition.. 'hmmm.. this could be interesting, i thought..' Sides, the lady seemed nice... And 13th of July is my birthday!! I was born on Friday the 13th, July 1990!

Excited, i took the book from the shelf, flipped it over... and to my surprise, i saw this...

Uh-huh.. haah.. bad omens** to my date of birth... crap.... do i really need this.. a day before my results??? sigh...

There's like a whole list saying why the number 13 is superstitious, the floor 13, the date 13th, Friday.. etc etc... come to think of it, i think my favorite no is also 13!!

And more, there's a line saying that if a woman has a birthday on Friday the 13th, she will marry and have a child within the year... Haa Haaaa.... Doesnt work on me, i've had my birthday on Friday the 13th, about like.. 3 times already.. im still single.. and very much available.. :)

Well, to every bad side, there's always a good one.. sigh.. Indeed, it is good luck to be born on Friday the 13th. The chances are low, and i guess im pretty lucky afterall ~ ! : )

Decisions, decisions. Blue or Green? Left or Right? Up or down? In or out? Good or Evil? This side, or that side? the pink top, or the blue camisole? KLCC or Pavilion? Decisions, decisions, ever so hard to decide...

Living life, is living with decisions. Everyday, as soon as we wake up, shower now? shower later? eat laksa? or kolo mee? go catch a movie? or swimming? Every single day, we wake up, watching the world which revolves around us, we make decisions. Decisions - the determinant of our past, present and our future.

i wondered if God ever hesitated when he first made the world, when he first made men. Did he stop, and think, ' ... hmm is this the day..?' ... ' should i do this first or that? ... ' or was everything set up, written, fated, laid out, DECIDED already in the first place. Perhaps yes, perhaps not, maybe He did hesitated, maybe He did thought for a moment, but He knew exactly what to do, and when to do it, how to do it, and the consequences.

Haah... atlas, i am not He. I am a mere mortal, unable to predict what is to come, what to decide, when, how or whom. I ponder around, wandering aimlessly, to find the clue, a hint, a sign, which may lead me into choosing a path to decide.

I hate making decisions, and yet I have to make them. I have to bear the responsibilities after making them. And worst, i have to suffer from them or i could be much happier after taking them. I may or may not like them but i have to accept them as they are - My Decisions.

Maybe it is already decided for me. i quote my good friend Michelle, ' God has a plan for everybody. He has His plans for me too ! '. Perhaps, it is already decided then, what is left for us is to endure it, to accept it, to race it with all our hearts, to embrace it, to live with it. And that is what we MUST decide, that is to live. For all, we only live once in this world. Let all our decisions, be a part of our living existence in this world, and may they weave a colorful pattern unto our dull and boring lives.....

I have my doubts, yet, i will always have faith ~ !

Hey, I havent been posting a lot of photoes lately, so here it comes ~ ! They're all about what i did recently...

- went to 175 degrees, (*used to be Tao - but they changed management, thus change name..)

nice interior, similar to Tao's i like the cozy sofas, and the unique toilet!!

Besides being a place to sit down and chat, they now offer you free wi-fi anf free Fish Spa! Okay, at first i was psyched, when i went to see the fishes.. (*with Letha) .. i was horrified, OMG, those little fishies, bitting your skin??? EEEWWWW, i couldnt help but to think that it's soo eewwy and gross.. imagine, those fishies, with their salivas, and their lips, kissing and licking and God-knows-what-they-are-doing, to your feet!! And there's soo many of them!!

And so, all i did, was squat at the corner, and stare at the fishies attacking letha's feet. I didnt do it, I'm supposed to be psyched up abt it, but in the end, the fear kicks in.. i'm scared of a fish spa ~ i'm a celebrity, get me outta here (*fish spa)

- Alright, next, are the cause to why i've been sick...

dont let the smiles fool ya, for 2 nights in a row, ive been eating nothing, but pure,oily,DEEP FRIED things... with my sis (*temptations) - I would skip lunch/breakfast, and wait for the great feast - of fried food!!!

horrid, HORRID things, that make your throat sore!!! After those 2 meals, me and my sis,never touched anything FRIED..... urgh... *cough cough...

- dont eat fried food for 2 nights in a row

- dont eat FRESHLY fried food

- drink lotsa water

- Fried Food cannot be our staple food

- most fried food are potatoes.. ??

- fried food gives you sorethroat

Next up, me and Letha decided to try new jamban at jln keretapi. Apparantly, more and more cafe/shops/restaurant/hangoutplace are popping out at that area Bormil/Jln Keretapi - Seriously after Bing!'s third outlet, the eateries there are getting more and more popular amongst working class people, teenagers and also families!!

As we walked down the aisle of eateries, near Lepo's (same block as Jade Pot) - we passed The Menu (*yet to try), 5 Loaves, CHEESE & Tea ... which marks our spot for lunch!

interior wise - cute.. they painted the walls yellow and the try to make look 'CHEESY' ahahha *lame.. Air conditioned, so-so priced menu (set lunch, rice + dish = RM 5+/-) and they serve a lot of tea!! The tea served is in a cup, so that's rather exxy. I ordered peppermint i think, and it's RM 2.50 for a cup - while in other places, usually tea is served in a small teapot, where you can add more hot water if you ran out of tea (eg, 175 degrees, Bing!)

i tried the Honey Chicken + Rice - portion? okayla. Taste? Not too bad. Price? RM 5. So it's not too bad! But i was rather dissapointed when they wrote a big sign that says, ' Cheesecakes - RM 5 only' but when i went in, the only cake sold, was Chocolate Moist Cake - which is not even any bit close to a cheese cake.. sigh sigh... ooo recapse of that day..

Besides hanging out, i also took the time to bake cookies!! For friends and also a request for my sis..

well, i kinda miss my friends back in college so i carved their names on the cookies, one each!! Owh yea, if you noticed, my twit or my facebook or my MSN tag, it says,

it doesnt mean that i broke his heart, in fact, he was the one who told me to spell out his name on the cookies. SO i did, but then the irony, i wrote SHahir's name twice on separate hearts, and my other friends' names once, then sent the cookies to bake.. When they're out, BOTH Shahir's Heart cookies BROKE... sigh.. he was the one who wanted it, but then they broke.. sorry la Shahir, i carved little ' S 'on the smaller cookies though.. :)

smile ~ Stella !!

broken hearted Shahir.. tsk tsk ...

Last, but not least... i went out today, and got my hair cut!! My mum complained it's too long and it ran out of shape, sides, she wants to dye her hair too. So off we go to the saloon...

that's me waiting ....

My hair's officially, 2 inches shorter!! It's still the same as my previous hairdo, only shorter. Opps, here comes the interesting part, THE FLAW!!! The hairdresser was all done with my hair, except for the front part, (in Hokkien but i translated - directly, neglect the English errors!)

.... minutes later...

The Hair dresser took chunk of my front hair, arranged it properly with her fingers, then SNAP!!! That was like the longest 3 SECONDS EVER IN MY LIFE, and that is when she SNAPPED OFF like 4 inches of my front hair...

.. 4 seconds after the SNAP...

Sighs, but it turned out.. okayla, the rest of my hair is nice, i especially like the front (my side- right) right side of my hair, but the left side... OMG... stupid little fringe.. FLAW!!!.. now my hair is FLAW!!! NOOO... i cant wait for it to grow again Lolz.... WHY???

Me waiting for my mum - and trying to cover up the flaw...

A

After getting my hair cut, i went to D'reiza (pasar) to get kek lapis Sarawak for Izzie & Shahir! And wow, soo many different kinds of kek lapis, and not only the RM 10 ones sold at the main bazaar (little stalls) - They sell like, over 50 different types of kek lapis, with different flavours and patterns, ranging from RM 8 - RM 40 per piece (cut).

The one that i saw - sooo pretty was called " Sayombara Bollywood' i think ' and ' Puncak Borneo ' - so pretty!!! and so neat the pattern, but it's like RM 40 per small piece, that's very very very expensive... I got Cadbury lapis cake and 2 kek lapis aneka yg cute, for Izz and Shahir, and a few others - my mum.. : ), i hope they like it. The Cadbury lapis cake is made from real cadbury choc, and the shopkeeper said..

So i trust her la, Kak Kek... and i hope it's nice ~ !! : )

And that wraps up this post, for now.. Hehee till then, when i have more pictures, or more things to share... Bye!

I've been pretty busy lately, keeping my hands tied up with things that I've long to accomplish, but never had the time to do it.. Doing things for other people; my friends ~ oh, how i've neglected them for soo long, keeping them waiting, in the dark....

And I've been thinking, and missing, a lot.. about college, about my life back in college ~ oh, how so simple was then, so easy, yet the littlest thing matters... And about exams.. URgh..~ i shrugged. Exams, so vile, so frustrating, and yet, its intentions are just innocently pure... How i dread to turn back time, to make things better, to change things that i do not intend... But how??

Sigh... I wish i could, but for now, i wouldnt change anything... the energy to go back, is just too much...

So, what do i do? I think about now, and about the future, about the birds and the sky, the bees and the flowers... About my abandoned dreams, about my long lost friend, about my family, my charity, my NOW... and i reflect upon every sin that i comit, every wrong doing, every bad choice that i make, and i count my blessings, all the gifts i've returned, all the promises kept, all the deeds, all the inspiration, hope and wishes from others... that are so dear to me now...

And those keep me content, drive away my sleepless nights, my unbearable headaches.... The Happy times.. i've always treasured...

And just today, my petsis/junior came up to me, gave me wishes, hugs, kisses, and earnestly prayed for the best, in whatever i do.. :) i couldnt help but to smile, and i thank them, for being such great energy, positive qi, that brings more light into my life.. THank You! And as return, is shall always, ALWAYS, pray for the best in your return too!! May you succeed in all the things that you do. And with courage, pertain that burning desire, to accomplish the many goals in your life..

For all the littlest, yet most gracious and priceless moments... Thank you - juniors, seniors, friends, family... and all else ... THANK YOU

Warning!!

This is going to be a looong and boring post. Sigh. I am now currently, at my uncle's house, in Kepong, updating you peeps, live from the hands of Jojo.

All the way from Kuching, Sarawak, i dragged 20 kgs of stuff across the South China Sea, and landed at in KL. Then it's off to KLCC to settle things with my sponsor, before driving all the way to Sunway Pyramid to meet up with my close peers. Then dinner, at New Paris Restaurant, and now...

Well, personally im having mix feelings right now. I'm not sad, or angry or happy or emo or anything. I'm just fine.... too fine..... in fact, I dont really think that's a good/healthy thing. Hmm.. I should be missing a lot right now. Food, Family, Place, Town, Friends, Car, Stuff, My creative thingies... lolz..

I do, deep deep deep down inside my heart, i really do. It's just that i dont show it. Well, not to a lot of people. I really am going to miss the past. All the times in KYUEM... chalet gossips, visits to the blackhole, knocking on chaer's window to wake her up for dinner, waiting for the guys to come to the DH, RC revision nights, cafe night outs, jogging, Mr D's maths classes, Mr Hanson's chem classes, Physics, IELTS - No... ENGLISH classes... all the witty teachers, how Pn Rog likes to brag about her students, how wonderful Mr B can be, how nice the technicians really ar, how grumpy the cafe staff are, how tasty* DH food was, swimming classes with Mrs B, the horrid monkeys at the guys chalet... my fishies...

Then there's my gang, or clique you can say. Our photoes together, the time spent, the secrets shared, feelings, emotions, the love... sigh. And of course my family, whose ever so proud of me, no matter what i do, or what i decide. Who's soo near and yet soo far, who will always miss me back at home, and welcome me anytime. Who's willing to go the extra mile, to earn the extra cash, for my luxury, who loves me just the same, no matter how big or how small i may get...

Of course i will miss them, all of you people!!!

Im saying this now, because frankly im just bored and i cant sleep, after the shot of caramel macchiato... Am i ready for this new life? Or this extra chapter in my life.... Yes!!!

:) Bye bye Home(for the time being..) and, Hello USA!!!!

My next post will probably in some airport, or in the states!! Keep in touch everyone! This wont be the end of Ah Jooooo!!!

I'm leaving on Sunday, wheeee.... ??

Everyone's talking about treating me breakfast/lunch/dinner. Everyone's psyched up cause someone they know is going to the states! Me?? Im soo thrilled myself! Before this, i can only dream of going to the states.. and when i load up my results page on Monday the other day, i didnt expect my future to come soo soon....

Anyway, im not gonna bore with all the thrill and excitement of me going to the states (*oh boy, i could type like a whole page of those.. hehee), instead i think there're some things that i would like my friends to know... esp those who love me.. who keep me near at heart!

First stop, a simple poem..

OMG!!

Need to pack need to pack.. i cant think straight now.. Gosh! It's all wayy to fast~

:)

I woke up this morning, switched on the computer... hook up the cie results website... to reveal... My Results... The golden moment that i've been waiting for... 

Seconds later.. i couldnt believe it.. OMG.. 

i met the requirements... i'm ... i'm.. going to fly ~ !...

Wheeeee.......................

So thank you, thank you, THANK YOU... 

Like a dream come true, i still cant believe it... Is this it? Is this for real?? Im going to the States??? OMG F'kin God!!!!! Somebody slap me!!

When i was at Popular Bookstore, i saw a book sitting at the non-fiction shelf, lonely... Without hesitant, i went over, and picked up the poor old book...

13 most popular superstition.. 'hmmm.. this could be interesting, i thought..' Sides, the lady seemed nice... And 13th of July is my birthday!! I was born on Friday the 13th, July 1990!

Excited, i took the book from the shelf, flipped it over... and to my surprise, i saw this...

Uh-huh.. haah.. bad omens** to my date of birth... crap.... do i really need this.. a day before my results??? sigh...

There's like a whole list saying why the number 13 is superstitious, the floor 13, the date 13th, Friday.. etc etc... come to think of it, i think my favorite no is also 13!!

And more, there's a line saying that if a woman has a birthday on Friday the 13th, she will marry and have a child within the year... Haa Haaaa.... Doesnt work on me, i've had my birthday on Friday the 13th, about like.. 3 times already.. im still single.. and very much available.. :)

Well, to every bad side, there's always a good one.. sigh.. Indeed, it is good luck to be born on Friday the 13th. The chances are low, and i guess im pretty lucky afterall ~ ! : )

Decisions, decisions. Blue or Green? Left or Right? Up or down? In or out? Good or Evil? This side, or that side? the pink top, or the blue camisole? KLCC or Pavilion? Decisions, decisions, ever so hard to decide...

Living life, is living with decisions. Everyday, as soon as we wake up, shower now? shower later? eat laksa? or kolo mee? go catch a movie? or swimming? Every single day, we wake up, watching the world which revolves around us, we make decisions. Decisions - the determinant of our past, present and our future.

i wondered if God ever hesitated when he first made the world, when he first made men. Did he stop, and think, ' ... hmm is this the day..?' ... ' should i do this first or that? ... ' or was everything set up, written, fated, laid out, DECIDED already in the first place. Perhaps yes, perhaps not, maybe He did hesitated, maybe He did thought for a moment, but He knew exactly what to do, and when to do it, how to do it, and the consequences.

Haah... atlas, i am not He. I am a mere mortal, unable to predict what is to come, what to decide, when, how or whom. I ponder around, wandering aimlessly, to find the clue, a hint, a sign, which may lead me into choosing a path to decide.

I hate making decisions, and yet I have to make them. I have to bear the responsibilities after making them. And worst, i have to suffer from them or i could be much happier after taking them. I may or may not like them but i have to accept them as they are - My Decisions.

Maybe it is already decided for me. i quote my good friend Michelle, ' God has a plan for everybody. He has His plans for me too ! '. Perhaps, it is already decided then, what is left for us is to endure it, to accept it, to race it with all our hearts, to embrace it, to live with it. And that is what we MUST decide, that is to live. For all, we only live once in this world. Let all our decisions, be a part of our living existence in this world, and may they weave a colorful pattern unto our dull and boring lives.....

I have my doubts, yet, i will always have faith ~ !

Hey, I havent been posting a lot of photoes lately, so here it comes ~ ! They're all about what i did recently...

- went to 175 degrees, (*used to be Tao - but they changed management, thus change name..)

nice interior, similar to Tao's i like the cozy sofas, and the unique toilet!!

Besides being a place to sit down and chat, they now offer you free wi-fi anf free Fish Spa! Okay, at first i was psyched, when i went to see the fishes.. (*with Letha) .. i was horrified, OMG, those little fishies, bitting your skin??? EEEWWWW, i couldnt help but to think that it's soo eewwy and gross.. imagine, those fishies, with their salivas, and their lips, kissing and licking and God-knows-what-they-are-doing, to your feet!! And there's soo many of them!!

And so, all i did, was squat at the corner, and stare at the fishies attacking letha's feet. I didnt do it, I'm supposed to be psyched up abt it, but in the end, the fear kicks in.. i'm scared of a fish spa ~ i'm a celebrity, get me outta here (*fish spa)

- Alright, next, are the cause to why i've been sick...

dont let the smiles fool ya, for 2 nights in a row, ive been eating nothing, but pure,oily,DEEP FRIED things... with my sis (*temptations) - I would skip lunch/breakfast, and wait for the great feast - of fried food!!!

horrid, HORRID things, that make your throat sore!!! After those 2 meals, me and my sis,never touched anything FRIED..... urgh... *cough cough...

- dont eat fried food for 2 nights in a row

- dont eat FRESHLY fried food

- drink lotsa water

- Fried Food cannot be our staple food

- most fried food are potatoes.. ??

- fried food gives you sorethroat

Next up, me and Letha decided to try new jamban at jln keretapi. Apparantly, more and more cafe/shops/restaurant/hangoutplace are popping out at that area Bormil/Jln Keretapi - Seriously after Bing!'s third outlet, the eateries there are getting more and more popular amongst working class people, teenagers and also families!!

As we walked down the aisle of eateries, near Lepo's (same block as Jade Pot) - we passed The Menu (*yet to try), 5 Loaves, CHEESE & Tea ... which marks our spot for lunch!

interior wise - cute.. they painted the walls yellow and the try to make look 'CHEESY' ahahha *lame.. Air conditioned, so-so priced menu (set lunch, rice + dish = RM 5+/-) and they serve a lot of tea!! The tea served is in a cup, so that's rather exxy. I ordered peppermint i think, and it's RM 2.50 for a cup - while in other places, usually tea is served in a small teapot, where you can add more hot water if you ran out of tea (eg, 175 degrees, Bing!)

i tried the Honey Chicken + Rice - portion? okayla. Taste? Not too bad. Price? RM 5. So it's not too bad! But i was rather dissapointed when they wrote a big sign that says, ' Cheesecakes - RM 5 only' but when i went in, the only cake sold, was Chocolate Moist Cake - which is not even any bit close to a cheese cake.. sigh sigh... ooo recapse of that day..

Besides hanging out, i also took the time to bake cookies!! For friends and also a request for my sis..

well, i kinda miss my friends back in college so i carved their names on the cookies, one each!! Owh yea, if you noticed, my twit or my facebook or my MSN tag, it says,

it doesnt mean that i broke his heart, in fact, he was the one who told me to spell out his name on the cookies. SO i did, but then the irony, i wrote SHahir's name twice on separate hearts, and my other friends' names once, then sent the cookies to bake.. When they're out, BOTH Shahir's Heart cookies BROKE... sigh.. he was the one who wanted it, but then they broke.. sorry la Shahir, i carved little ' S 'on the smaller cookies though.. :)

smile ~ Stella !!

broken hearted Shahir.. tsk tsk ...

Last, but not least... i went out today, and got my hair cut!! My mum complained it's too long and it ran out of shape, sides, she wants to dye her hair too. So off we go to the saloon...

that's me waiting ....

My hair's officially, 2 inches shorter!! It's still the same as my previous hairdo, only shorter. Opps, here comes the interesting part, THE FLAW!!! The hairdresser was all done with my hair, except for the front part, (in Hokkien but i translated - directly, neglect the English errors!)

.... minutes later...

The Hair dresser took chunk of my front hair, arranged it properly with her fingers, then SNAP!!! That was like the longest 3 SECONDS EVER IN MY LIFE, and that is when she SNAPPED OFF like 4 inches of my front hair...

.. 4 seconds after the SNAP...

Sighs, but it turned out.. okayla, the rest of my hair is nice, i especially like the front (my side- right) right side of my hair, but the left side... OMG... stupid little fringe.. FLAW!!!.. now my hair is FLAW!!! NOOO... i cant wait for it to grow again Lolz.... WHY???

Me waiting for my mum - and trying to cover up the flaw...

A

After getting my hair cut, i went to D'reiza (pasar) to get kek lapis Sarawak for Izzie & Shahir! And wow, soo many different kinds of kek lapis, and not only the RM 10 ones sold at the main bazaar (little stalls) - They sell like, over 50 different types of kek lapis, with different flavours and patterns, ranging from RM 8 - RM 40 per piece (cut).

The one that i saw - sooo pretty was called " Sayombara Bollywood' i think ' and ' Puncak Borneo ' - so pretty!!! and so neat the pattern, but it's like RM 40 per small piece, that's very very very expensive... I got Cadbury lapis cake and 2 kek lapis aneka yg cute, for Izz and Shahir, and a few others - my mum.. : ), i hope they like it. The Cadbury lapis cake is made from real cadbury choc, and the shopkeeper said..

So i trust her la, Kak Kek... and i hope it's nice ~ !! : )

And that wraps up this post, for now.. Hehee till then, when i have more pictures, or more things to share... Bye!

I've been pretty busy lately, keeping my hands tied up with things that I've long to accomplish, but never had the time to do it.. Doing things for other people; my friends ~ oh, how i've neglected them for soo long, keeping them waiting, in the dark....

And I've been thinking, and missing, a lot.. about college, about my life back in college ~ oh, how so simple was then, so easy, yet the littlest thing matters... And about exams.. URgh..~ i shrugged. Exams, so vile, so frustrating, and yet, its intentions are just innocently pure... How i dread to turn back time, to make things better, to change things that i do not intend... But how??

Sigh... I wish i could, but for now, i wouldnt change anything... the energy to go back, is just too much...

So, what do i do? I think about now, and about the future, about the birds and the sky, the bees and the flowers... About my abandoned dreams, about my long lost friend, about my family, my charity, my NOW... and i reflect upon every sin that i comit, every wrong doing, every bad choice that i make, and i count my blessings, all the gifts i've returned, all the promises kept, all the deeds, all the inspiration, hope and wishes from others... that are so dear to me now...

And those keep me content, drive away my sleepless nights, my unbearable headaches.... The Happy times.. i've always treasured...

And just today, my petsis/junior came up to me, gave me wishes, hugs, kisses, and earnestly prayed for the best, in whatever i do.. :) i couldnt help but to smile, and i thank them, for being such great energy, positive qi, that brings more light into my life.. THank You! And as return, is shall always, ALWAYS, pray for the best in your return too!! May you succeed in all the things that you do. And with courage, pertain that burning desire, to accomplish the many goals in your life..

For all the littlest, yet most gracious and priceless moments... Thank you - juniors, seniors, friends, family... and all else ... THANK YOU